The Worst Bar Experience: My Battle with the Bartender

As a recovering alcoholic, I have a unique perspective on bar experiences. One of the worst moments in my life as a patron of the local watering hole was an encounter with a particularly abrupt bartender. While I often enjoyed my time in the company of dear friends, that one particular night stands out like a sore thumb.

Back in my darker days, alcohol was my main companion. I would invariably return to the bar time and time again, even when I knew better. The bartender's job was simple: serve the drinks in a timely manner and keep me supplied. However, to her, my situation was not so black and white. She viewed me and other customers with a mix of curiosity and bewilderment.

To be clear, it wasn’t that she didn’t serve me. It was her interpretation of the "serve me" part that caused me frustration. She seemed to think of my glass as a receptacle that needed to be completely filled before it was allowed to get empty. My glass wasn’t served, but rather stuffed with liquid servings, leaving me perpetually waiting for my next drink.

Alcoholic Thinking vs. Logical Thinking

I have to smirk when I recall this experience, because my brain at the time was fundamentally different—alcoholic versus logical. When my glass was empty, I considered it a cue to receive my next serving. To me, there was no slowing down; my glass was empty and I wanted it filled. It’s a mindset that often led to trouble, but it was my reality.

The bartender, on the other hand, had a different agenda. She was likely trying to help me by controlling my intake. However, to me, it was more akin to being held hostage. She wasn’t just making sure I was sated, but actively delaying my next drink. Every time I asked for a refill, I was met with the same answer: "Not yet, let’s keep it at two drinks for now." This level of micromanagement was anathema to my nature.

The Consequences

Eventually, I decided to cut myself off and look for other ways to cope and deal with my problems. Recovery is a journey, and in my case, it involved banning myself from that particular bar and finding healthier outlets for my stress and anxiety. Losing the ability to rely on alcohol as a crutch has allowed me to gain clarity and perspective on what is truly important in life.

Lessons Learned and Advice

This experience taught me a valuable lesson about the importance of communication and understanding in any exchange. Whether you’re a bartender serving a customer or a customer requesting a service, clear communication can prevent misunderstandings and create a more fulfilling experience for all involved.

To other recovering alcoholics who might find themselves in similar situations, my advice is to prioritize your health and well-being. It may be difficult at times, but choosing to avoid situations that can trigger addictive behaviors is a crucial step towards a healthier lifestyle. Surround yourself with supportive friends and consider seeking professional help if needed.

Lastly, remember that the bartender is often just doing their job. Many experienced and empathetic bartenders are capable of recognizing when a customer is struggling and can offer support in a compassionate manner. Cold or overbearing attitude is not uncommon, but remember, the bartender is human, too, and may have their own reasons for their actions.

Conclusion

The worst bar experience I’ve had was a sobering reminder of how important it is to recognize and understand the needs of others, both as a customer and as a service provider. Recovery is a continuous process, and each experience, good or bad, helps us grow and evolve.