The Boundaries of Kindness: When to Show and When to Refrain

In a perfect world, everyone deserves kindness. It is indeed wrong to cherry-pick who receives our kindness based on superficial reasons such as appearance. However, in reality, not everyone deserves it. This essay explores the ethical and practical dimensions of deciding whom to show kindness to and when to refrain.

When Does Kindness Deserve to Be Given?

Kindness is a virtue that enriches our lives and the lives of those around us. From a self-interest perspective, showing kindness often brings reciprocity. Morality, based on the principle of self-interest, encourages us to care for others so that we may not receive the same treatment in return.

When we were cave people, survival required vigilance and cooperation. Threats such as theft, rape, and murder were ever-present, and the fundamental need for security, stability, and prosperity led to the formation of tribes, towns, and cities. Laws and norms were established to protect against unethical behavior. Merger and cooperation, driven by the common good, formed a basis for societal evolution.

Kindness and Self-Interest

Empathy is the key to understanding the suffering of others and imagining what it would be like to be in their shoes. When we show kindness to someone, even if we do not approve of their actions, we contribute to their emotional and sometimes physical well-being. In turn, we also benefit from a more harmonious society where acts of kindness are reciprocated.

Can Kindness Be Overdone?

Deciding who deserves kindness is not always an easy task. Often, it is those you think do not deserve it who actually need it the most. The ability to judge who truly deserves kindness is nuanced. You might think someone is beyond forgiveness, but their behavior can change with time and your act of kindness might help them become a better person.

Conclusion: Ethics and Practicality

Determining who deserves kindness is a complex issue that requires a balance between ethics and practicality. While it is morally right to show kindness to everyone, there are times when it might be necessary to draw a line. It is important to reflect on why we feel someone does not deserve kindness and consider the broader context. Ultimately, kindness should not be based on preconceived notions or superficial judgments.

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